Free Write

Word Count: 820

Free Write:

 My interpretation of the definition: 1. Anxiety Disorder- uncontrollable fear and nervousness.

                           2. Social Anxiety – the inability to communicate with others in a positive manner.

                           3.Obstacle- Something that gets in your way during your lifetime. It can range from mildly difficult to extremely difficult.

                           4.Freedom- A moment of pure happiness and excitement; restrictions and limitations are not present physically nor mentally.

                           5. Sorrow- A feeling of overwhelming sadness; difficult to stop.

                           6. Confidence- the ability to be sure of yourself and let others know you are not afraid to be you.

Lists: 1. Inability to sleep

2. Loss of confidence

3. Trust issues

4. Heart racing 24/7

5.Gratitude

6. Self-awareness

7. Flux between caring for others and only caring for myself. Ex: Pre- med to make up (I’ll talk more about this in the video)

Description: I had 5 minutes to talk to her before the 1^st period bell rang. I had known her for over a year now and I wanted her to know my true feelings towards her. As I approached her locker I saw her there. The look on her face was overwhelming me as I walked closer. She smiled and said, “Hey what’s up?” I could smell the perfume forcing its way into my nostrils as I tried to come up with words to say to her. I couldn’t speak. My stomach turned into a knot and after a loud and heavy breath I did a complete 360 degrees turn and walked way nervously.

For scenes I’m going to talk about what may be in scenes 4 and 5 in the video. In the previous blog post, I talked about scenes 1- 3.

Scenes:

Scene 4:

Sound Effects: I don’t know yet

Pictures: Doctor and patient, picture of judgmental action, and terrified face, handshake, job interview, cashier, classroom, build up

Dialogue:        This scene is about social anxiety disorder. Many individuals who have an anxiety disorder can also have social anxiety disorder. Doctors can diagnose if you have social anxiety disorder when they ask you questions and see how much it affects your daily life. For me it definitely does. The first thing people with social anxiety disorder fear the most is being judged by others. The judgment of other terrifies to a point where we can’t function properly around others. We become self-conscious every time we socially interact, and even moments before when we know we are about to socially interact due to an unavoidable situation.

Yes, I despise meeting new people. Meeting new people for a person with social anxiety disorder is dreadful. You panic at the fear of this new person judging you straight away. It’s absolutely terrifying to me how everyday social interactions can make me feel like this. Simple things such as meeting new people, a job interview, talking to your crush, being called on in class, or having to talk to the cashier in supermarket or convenience store is a challenge for people like us.  Even doing normal things in front of people like eating your lunch or snack, or drinking a beverage in front of others or using a public restroom also results in fear and uncontrollable anxiety. I am afraid that I will be humiliated, judged, or rejected. It seems like a very dumb thing to be afraid about put people with social anxiety have very minimal control over these fears. I even get angry and frustrated with myself when these situations occur, but it eventually happens again sooner or later.

The fear that people with social anxiety disorder have in social situations is so strong that they feel it is beyond their ability to control. Taking back control is simply out of the question.  As a result, it gets in the way of performing well at school, and work. For my situation it’s just school because I have been afraid to work at a real job my entire life.  When we know that something socially heavy is going to happen in a few weeks’ time we dread on these things and worry about them right until the moment they finally happen. The buildup is the worst part. I like most others with this illness (I hate calling it that but it’s what it is) end up staying away from places or events where I think they might have to do something that will embarrass me. This disorder also causes performance anxiety. This is when you the feel physical symptoms of anxiety in situations like presentations for class, playing a friendly match of soccer with friends or attempting to dance at parties. I have promised myself to seek treatment this summer because I don’t want this illness to deny me the chance to reach my full potential. Freshman year of college really taught me that in order for me to succeed I can’t keep this hidden anymore and I need to find a solution.

Scene 5: TBA